This is not 18th century England. Most people don’t stay virtuous before they wed and they don’t believe in separate bedrooms until the wedding night. If this is your belief, great, I’m not here to mock you. On the contrary, I’m just here to point out a few practical reasons why you should consider otherwise. Yes, there are PRACTICAL reasons why you should live with the person you intend on marrying. I feel I have the right experience level to dish out my thoughts on the matter. I lived with my husband for about 4 years before we got married and I’m so glad I did. It might have been nice to live at home and mooch off my mum until this year because being an adult is expensive. However, I feel I was truly prepared for agreeing to spend the rest of my life with someone. I REALLY knew what I was getting myself into.
As always, below is a short list of carefully thought out reasons that will make convincing arguments for you to consider.
1.They might irritate you so much you want to rip your hair out
It’s not sunshine and rainbows when you finally move in together. It’s not going to just seamlessly fall into place like some romance novel. It will be hard and you won’t be prepared for all their annoying habits and quirks. It takes a lot to get used to living with a whole new person without the comfort of your family! You have to work out bills, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping AND SCHEDULING ALL YOUR TV SHOWS SO THEY DON’T CLASH. BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?! YOU WON’T ALWAYS LIKE THE SAME TV SHOWS! Sorry to burst your perfect little bubble there. You may be addicted to tacky teen dramas but they most likely won’t be.
2.Ladies, some men need training
No, calm down I’m not insinuating that men are like dogs. And if I was – whoop de doo, I said something a little bit sexist. It’s not like I’m a woman living in a misogynistic society or anything, how dare I. Erhm – moving on… Some men have no idea and seriously think that it’s the woman’s job to do the housework, clean, cook and take care of the house bills and expenses. They think all they need to do is mow the lawns and take the rubbish out. Yes, I’m serious, people like this exist. Ok, if this was 1825 and women did not work and their husbands had to work long hours to earn a loaf of bread I’d understand. But this is not 1825 and women work just as hard as men and the last thing ANYONE wants to do is come home and cook or wash clothes. YOU NEED TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOU ARE NOT HIS SLAVE (or his mother) AND DIVIDE THE CHORES. If you don’t you will grow to resent each other and poof, marriage over. My gorgeous husband is great with things like this. One day he said to me “Babe look, I washed the dishes for you!”, his little eyes gleaming with happiness. I swiftly cut that shit down and told him that NO you did not wash the dishes for ME. You washed them FOR US BECAUSE WE BOTH USE DISHES SO WHY SHOULD I BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR CLEANLINESS. We’re in a happy place now.
3.You may both be hopeless at taking care of yourselves
There are people out there who don’t know how to use a washing machine. I’m serious, people like this are running around in our society unbeknownst to us! You could be sitting next to one right now. It isn’t just “blokes” as the stereotype would insinuate. What the HELL are you going to do if you both cannot work a washing machine?! GET DIVORCED?! No, you need to work that crap out. You cannot live on two-minute noodles and toast either. If neither one of you can wash clothes or cook a basic meal you are in real trouble. These are life skills and it will be sure to kill the romance in your new love nest, let me tell you. If your partner seems to think that you are responsible for this part of the relationship please see point number 2.
4.You need to set boundaries
Yes, boundaries. Just because you are together and co-existing it does not mean you need to do everything together. You need your own space and your own time to unwind, relax and remember why you love your partner. My husband and I have developed a great understanding for our “me time”. I do my things and he does his things. We aren’t glued to the hip and we appreciate the time we do spend together. And if he starts to drive me crazy because he watches really annoying sports shows and leaves his socks everywhere he gets it. He needs to give me some space.
So there you go, 4 practical reasons why you should consider moving in with your intended betrothed. Or take a long holiday somewhere. Or continue living in separate bedrooms but BE PREPARED!
If you have anything insightful or humorous to add to this topic please share your stories and thoughts in the comments.