I’ve had quite a few auditions pop up recently which is nice, I feel busy and important. It would be nice if I was actually booking jobs from all these auditions but that’s another post for another day. Anyway, so these auditions have been mostly for musicals or television commercials. The television commercial auditions are fun, I always enjoy those. The musical auditions, on the other hand, let’s just say I haven’t quite mastered the ‘fun’ aspect of those. I mean, I really love waiting around for hours to sing and spending money on printing headshots that I know the casting people will probably throw in the bin. I digress, I digress…back to to the point. I had a musical audition a few weeks ago and I had to sing and I swear to Santa I had a panic attack while I was singing.
Now, I’ve spent countless hours over analysing why this could have happened. Was I harbouring some leftover insecurity from earlier experiences this year? Were my anxiety levels high? Was I secretly doubting myself the whole time and covering it up really well until BAM! Time to sing, oh sorry what? You thought you’d be fine, GUESS AGAIN! Look, it was a truly interesting experience. I am SO impressed with myself that I didn’t pass out because I mean I wasn’t breathing. I was hyperventilating. I was hyperventilating AND SINGING AT THE SAME TIME.
I was a trainwreck I literally have no idea how I even got to the end of the song. I have no idea how the casting panel allowed me to continue crashing and burning right before their very eyes. Was this fun for them? Were they revelling in my misfortunes?! Ok, I’m being dramatic, it probably wasn’t that bad to them. They probably just thought I was nervous. BUT I’M TELLING YOU, IT WAS A FRIKKEN PANIC ATTACK. Let me take you through it step by step.
The music starts….
me – oh god it’s started already
ok, ok I come in here
omg why do I sound so breathy
ok try to breathe
omg not in the middle of a phrase
oh shit, this is a big note… breathe!
omg I can’t breathe
omg just pull back a bit and try to regain control
look up and start acting
FOCUS ON THE ACTING
THERE’S NO HOPE
ok, ok another big bit is coming up
REDEEM YOURSELF STOP HYPERVENTILATING
why can’t I breathe
I’m gonna pass out
When I was done I literally took 3 huge breaths and the casting panel sort of laughed and said, “You can breathe now!”
I RAN OUT SAYING, “Hahaha yeah sorry just a tad nervous bye, thank you, have a great day”
Yeah. So, anyway, auditions are fun. I can say that since then my confidence has improved somewhat, I mean haven’t stopped breathing during an audition in a few weeks so that’s positive… haha.
Anyone else have any fun audition stories they want to share? Don’t be shy!